Comments on: You don’t own me… http://willmydoghateme.com/dog-training-behavior/you-dont-own-me?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=you-dont-own-me A guilt-free zone for good dog owners Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:25:10 +0000 hourly 1 By: Edie http://willmydoghateme.com/dog-training-behavior/you-dont-own-me/comment-page-1#comment-1786 Edie Wed, 10 Feb 2010 13:44:27 +0000 http://willmydoghateme.com/?p=3684#comment-1786 Jim, thanks so much for your loving portraits of all your dogs and their unique personalities. Because Frankie is my first dog, who opened my eyes and heart to the species, I can't imagine loving another as much as him. So it encourages that you've been able to care for all your dogs for who they are and not try to hold them up to another dog's standard. Jim, thanks so much for your loving portraits of all your dogs and their unique personalities. Because Frankie is my first dog, who opened my eyes and heart to the species, I can’t imagine loving another as much as him. So it encourages that you’ve been able to care for all your dogs for who they are and not try to hold them up to another dog’s standard.

]]> By: Jim (DoggyBytes.ca) http://willmydoghateme.com/dog-training-behavior/you-dont-own-me/comment-page-1#comment-1782 Jim (DoggyBytes.ca) Wed, 10 Feb 2010 06:52:52 +0000 http://willmydoghateme.com/?p=3684#comment-1782 I've had four dogs in my adult life, all with their own personalities and I've loved all of them and their personalities. None of them have been barkers, Shaka (Siberian Husky) was a runner. He ran away every chance he got, but that's what Husky's do, they run, so I dealt with it when it happened, but always loved him. Sweety, my 14 1/2 year old Border Collie has been a true angel in my life. She can be quite whiny at times and it has driven me up a wall a few times. Now I think (because she's going on 15), there will be a day when I no longer hear her whines, that will be a sad day. Zack (RIP), a deaf Dalmatian that I adopted when he was 5, started off as quite a little bastard, LOL. By the end he was a different dog, much more trusting. Either way I loved him. Now with Zeus (adopted Pit Bull), he can be randomly dog reactive - that I have to work on with him, but it's part of the breed's history. Because I know about the breed's history, it is my responsibility to ensure that I never put him in a bad position. He may never have the personality of Lassie and that's ok with me. I'll love him for who he is. I'll stop rambling now. :/ I’ve had four dogs in my adult life, all with their own personalities and I’ve loved all of them and their personalities. None of them have been barkers, Shaka (Siberian Husky) was a runner. He ran away every chance he got, but that’s what Husky’s do, they run, so I dealt with it when it happened, but always loved him.

Sweety, my 14 1/2 year old Border Collie has been a true angel in my life. She can be quite whiny at times and it has driven me up a wall a few times. Now I think (because she’s going on 15), there will be a day when I no longer hear her whines, that will be a sad day.

Zack (RIP), a deaf Dalmatian that I adopted when he was 5, started off as quite a little bastard, LOL. By the end he was a different dog, much more trusting. Either way I loved him.

Now with Zeus (adopted Pit Bull), he can be randomly dog reactive – that I have to work on with him, but it’s part of the breed’s history. Because I know about the breed’s history, it is my responsibility to ensure that I never put him in a bad position. He may never have the personality of Lassie and that’s ok with me. I’ll love him for who he is.

I’ll stop rambling now. :/

]]> By: Edie http://willmydoghateme.com/dog-training-behavior/you-dont-own-me/comment-page-1#comment-1776 Edie Wed, 10 Feb 2010 01:08:16 +0000 http://willmydoghateme.com/?p=3684#comment-1776 Thank you for your nice words -- especially valued coming from a trainer. And yes, it's very heartwarming when you encounter someone who "gets" it and doesn't want to remake a dog in his or her image. And I'm very pleased that you found me through Dancing Dog Blog (www.dancingdogblog.com), one of my favorites! Thank you for your nice words — especially valued coming from a trainer. And yes, it’s very heartwarming when you encounter someone who “gets” it and doesn’t want to remake a dog in his or her image.

And I’m very pleased that you found me through Dancing Dog Blog (www.dancingdogblog.com), one of my favorites!

]]> By: Eileen http://willmydoghateme.com/dog-training-behavior/you-dont-own-me/comment-page-1#comment-1774 Eileen Wed, 10 Feb 2010 00:38:26 +0000 http://willmydoghateme.com/?p=3684#comment-1774 What a great post. I love the analogy Debbie gives at the end, working with a fearful dog is much like raising a child; you can have your hopes for them and encourage them to work towards what you feel will be good for them, but in the end you really just have to love them how they are. I just worked with a client and his fearful dog he is in the process of adopting yesterday, and we talked about how his fearful dog, who a month ago would not come within a block of a person and now will go to people she knows for affection, may never have the same comfort level with strangers as most dogs do. He did not bat an eye, and explained that his goal was not to "fix" the dog, but to help her live the happiest life she could, whatever that ended up meaning for her. It still fills me with warmth every time I run into an owner who may not have all the know-how of a trainer, but who is so right-on in instinct. I was linked here by the Dancing Dog Blog, glad to have found your site! What a great post. I love the analogy Debbie gives at the end, working with a fearful dog is much like raising a child; you can have your hopes for them and encourage them to work towards what you feel will be good for them, but in the end you really just have to love them how they are. I just worked with a client and his fearful dog he is in the process of adopting yesterday, and we talked about how his fearful dog, who a month ago would not come within a block of a person and now will go to people she knows for affection, may never have the same comfort level with strangers as most dogs do. He did not bat an eye, and explained that his goal was not to “fix” the dog, but to help her live the happiest life she could, whatever that ended up meaning for her. It still fills me with warmth every time I run into an owner who may not have all the know-how of a trainer, but who is so right-on in instinct.

I was linked here by the Dancing Dog Blog, glad to have found your site!

]]> By: Edie http://willmydoghateme.com/dog-training-behavior/you-dont-own-me/comment-page-1#comment-1757 Edie Mon, 08 Feb 2010 20:09:59 +0000 http://willmydoghateme.com/?p=3684#comment-1757 Of course you can weigh in, Rebecca. As Frankie's rescuer -- and therefore the raison d'etre (I have a French gem show guest staying with me) -- for the blog itself, you will always have a forum on Will My Dog Hate Me. That and the fact that what you say makes a great deal of sense. Of course you can weigh in, Rebecca. As Frankie’s rescuer — and therefore the raison d’etre (I have a French gem show guest staying with me) — for the blog itself, you will always have a forum on Will My Dog Hate Me. That and the fact that what you say makes a great deal of sense.

]]> By: Rebecca Boren http://willmydoghateme.com/dog-training-behavior/you-dont-own-me/comment-page-1#comment-1756 Rebecca Boren Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:53:25 +0000 http://willmydoghateme.com/?p=3684#comment-1756 Can I weigh in with a couple of thoughts from the dog rescue (as well as dog owner) perspective? First, dog breeds -- for those who live with a dog of identifiable breed -- only outline a big perimeter within which each dog grows his or her own personality. There are goofy standard poodles as well as wise ones, devoted fox terriers versus those who bite the human that ignores the dog's demands. If you are getting a puppy -- or even adopting an adult pooch -- spend as much time as you can with your bright, particular star of a dog before making the commitment on behalf of both of you. Second, dog personalities do change. Please, -- she added hastily -- this is not a pitch for thinking one can transform a Chihuahua into a Pug or an Australian Shepherd into a couch potato..After 11 years, my Brussels Griffon still cringes if I reach for him. But he has no hesitation about demanding I come over and "spot' him on the stairs to the bed. Only since the age of nine has he really discovered that, if you come wiggling up to the nearest human, you may get your butt scratched! I am saying dogs mature -- and recover from traumatic experiences -- just as humans do. I am most familiar with the terriers I pal around with; many of them are utter little monsters until the age of three to five, when they mature into the most delightful -- but still exhuberant-- companion a person might ask for. Twenty years ago, I received my first miniature schnauzer, a 16-week-old puppy, as a birthday gift. I had NO IDEA what I was getting in to, since my incumbent terri-poo was the kind of dog who taught himself tricks. There was no Internet to tap for information. I really think the only way Cleo and I made it through her youth was a conversation I had with a restaurant owner one evening. He assured me that mini schnauzers are ungovernable puppies. Unfortunately, one reason many young dogs wind up in shelters or rescue is that an aging would-be owner has forgotten just how much of a challenge a puppy can be, only recalling the sedate pace set by a 12-year-old. That's one reason I encourage the older prospective adopter to consider a middle-aged (seven and up with most smaller breeds). These are adult dogs who have many good years to live and to offer to the right adopter. Plus, you can avoid all those tedious hours freezing out doors in the dark, waiting for the pup to pee !(as long as your buddy doesn't develop diabetes, as Frankie has). A great joy with a rescue is watching a fearful and intimidated dog blossom into a loved and loving pooch (as Frankie is, shyness not withstanding). Sometimes we humans underestimate the resiliency of our canine companions. I certainly had always believed that a traumatized, abused dog was permanently damaged. But one of my most gratifying rescues involved a quartet of dogs I received who had been some of the breeding stock in a just-shut-down puppy mill about 100 miles from me. I had a perfect family waiting for one of them -- a couple who lives in car-coasting distance from me. They had recently lost their much-loved 15-year-old schnauzer to cancer and were the kind of people who came home at lunch to walk the dog, wanted a dog to take on trips,pose for pictures with their dog on Christmas cards , etc etc. I brought a couple of dogs over for them to meet, including one of the puppy mill females, who I shall call Petunia. They were interested in Petunia but also hesitant to adopt her -- she was at that time a five-year-old dog who was scared to walk on most types of indoor flooring! They agreed to take her on a standard couple of week trial. Fast forward a year or so. They kept Petunia, and tell me, whenever I see them out walking, how glad they are they had the patience to wait for her to grow into her new life. Two schnauzer puppies have also entered their life together -- the couple's grown daughter had bought a puppy for herself and one for her dad. Petunia is, for the first time after all those years of breeding, getting to raise a puppy. And the puppies are helping her expand her horizons. On a family trip to the beach, the two puppies were romping in the shallows while Petunia stood hesitantly on the sand, watching. Suddenly, she gathered herself together and RAN into the waves. bouncing out soaking wet and gloriously happy, newborn as a water baby. What I am trying to get to here is a plea to allow your dog to be his or herself. Sure, your dog needs to learn the basics that will keep you both safe, like proper walking on a leash. Beyond that, offer new experiences, just as you would suggest a fun activity to a friend. Some dogs take longer than others to decide if they like whatever you have in mind. But your dog will let you know soon enough if sitting at the outdoor cafe, latte for you and water for him or her, adds up to great fun or a nightmare. Or if doing tricks for treats is a natural talent or demeaning to the entire species. Can I weigh in with a couple of thoughts from the dog rescue (as well as dog owner) perspective?
First, dog breeds — for those who live with a dog of identifiable breed — only outline a big perimeter within which each dog grows his or her own personality. There are goofy standard poodles as well as wise ones, devoted fox terriers versus those who bite the human that ignores the dog’s demands. If you are getting a puppy — or even adopting an adult pooch — spend as much time as you can with your bright, particular star of a dog before making the commitment on behalf of both of you.
Second, dog personalities do change. Please, — she added hastily — this is not a pitch for thinking one can transform a Chihuahua into a Pug or an Australian Shepherd into a couch potato..After 11 years, my Brussels Griffon still cringes if I reach for him. But he has no hesitation about demanding I come over and “spot’ him on the stairs to the bed. Only since the age of nine has he really discovered that, if you come wiggling up to the nearest human, you may get your butt scratched!
I am saying dogs mature — and recover from traumatic experiences — just as humans do. I am most familiar with the terriers I pal around with; many of them are utter little monsters until the age of three to five, when they mature into the most delightful — but still exhuberant– companion a person might ask for. Twenty years ago, I received my first miniature schnauzer, a 16-week-old puppy, as a birthday gift. I had NO IDEA what I was getting in to, since my incumbent terri-poo was the kind of dog who taught himself tricks. There was no Internet to tap for information. I really think the only way Cleo and I made it through her youth was a conversation I had with a restaurant owner one evening. He assured me that mini schnauzers are ungovernable puppies.
Unfortunately, one reason many young dogs wind up in shelters or rescue is that an aging would-be owner has forgotten just how much of a challenge a puppy can be, only recalling the sedate pace set by a 12-year-old. That’s one reason I encourage the older prospective adopter to consider a middle-aged (seven and up with most smaller breeds). These are adult dogs who have many good years to live and to offer to the right adopter. Plus, you can avoid all those tedious hours freezing out doors in the dark, waiting for the pup to pee !(as long as your buddy doesn’t develop diabetes, as Frankie has). A great joy with a rescue is watching a fearful and intimidated dog blossom into a loved and loving pooch (as Frankie is, shyness not withstanding).
Sometimes we humans underestimate the resiliency of our canine companions. I certainly had always believed that a traumatized, abused dog was permanently damaged. But one of my most gratifying rescues involved a quartet of dogs I received who had been some of the breeding stock in a just-shut-down puppy mill about 100 miles from me. I had a perfect family waiting for one of them — a couple who lives in car-coasting distance from me. They had recently lost their much-loved 15-year-old schnauzer to cancer and were the kind of people who came home at lunch to walk the dog, wanted a dog to take on trips,pose for pictures with their dog on Christmas cards , etc etc. I brought a couple of dogs over for them to meet, including one of the puppy mill females, who I shall call Petunia.
They were interested in Petunia but also hesitant to adopt her — she was at that time a five-year-old dog who was scared to walk on most types of indoor flooring! They agreed to take her on a standard couple of week trial.
Fast forward a year or so. They kept Petunia, and tell me, whenever I see them out walking, how glad they are they had the patience to wait for her to grow into her new life. Two schnauzer puppies have also entered their life together — the couple’s grown daughter had bought a puppy for herself and one for her dad. Petunia is, for the first time after all those years of breeding, getting to raise a puppy. And the puppies are helping her expand her horizons. On a family trip to the beach, the two puppies were romping in the shallows while Petunia stood hesitantly on the sand, watching. Suddenly, she gathered herself together and RAN into the waves. bouncing out soaking wet and gloriously happy, newborn as a water baby.
What I am trying to get to here is a plea to allow your dog to be his or herself. Sure, your dog needs to learn the basics that will keep you both safe, like proper walking on a leash. Beyond that, offer new experiences, just as you would suggest a fun activity to a friend. Some dogs take longer than others to decide if they like whatever you have in mind. But your dog will let you know soon enough if sitting at the outdoor cafe, latte for you and water for him or her, adds up to great fun or a nightmare. Or if doing tricks for treats is a natural talent or demeaning to the entire species.

]]> By: Edie http://willmydoghateme.com/dog-training-behavior/you-dont-own-me/comment-page-1#comment-1754 Edie Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:22:51 +0000 http://willmydoghateme.com/?p=3684#comment-1754 Thanks, Michele. Of course, after Debbie's response to my question -- and especially to her just-posted comment -- I was thinking I haven't done enough to make fearful situations less difficult for Frankie. Guilt-free zone, guilt-free zone... mustn't forget my mantra! Thanks, Michele. Of course, after Debbie’s response to my question — and especially to her just-posted comment — I was thinking I haven’t done enough to make fearful situations less difficult for Frankie. Guilt-free zone, guilt-free zone… mustn’t forget my mantra!

]]> By: Edie http://willmydoghateme.com/dog-training-behavior/you-dont-own-me/comment-page-1#comment-1753 Edie Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:20:47 +0000 http://willmydoghateme.com/?p=3684#comment-1753 Thanks for elaborating on this Debbie. That's good to know, if somewhat discouraging, ie., I'd always assumed that if fearful moments are associated with good things -- e.g., cheese -- then that helps temper the fear. So you're saying desensitization is a much slower process, yes? Would you give some examples of desensitization and counter conditioning (as opposed, say, to giving the dog cheese to distract him. I know, a lot to ask... maybe another guest post? Thanks for elaborating on this Debbie. That’s good to know, if somewhat discouraging, ie., I’d always assumed that if fearful moments are associated with good things — e.g., cheese — then that helps temper the fear. So you’re saying desensitization is a much slower process, yes? Would you give some examples of desensitization and counter conditioning (as opposed, say, to giving the dog cheese to distract him. I know, a lot to ask… maybe another guest post?

]]> By: Michele http://willmydoghateme.com/dog-training-behavior/you-dont-own-me/comment-page-1#comment-1752 Michele Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:11:50 +0000 http://willmydoghateme.com/?p=3684#comment-1752 It really is people--not pets that have a problem with expectations and behaviors. As Amy says, our egos are often in the way. Great post, and Frankie is lucky to have you. It really is people–not pets that have a problem with expectations and behaviors. As Amy says, our egos are often in the way. Great post, and Frankie is lucky to have you.

]]> By: Debbie Jacobs http://willmydoghateme.com/dog-training-behavior/you-dont-own-me/comment-page-1#comment-1751 Debbie Jacobs Mon, 08 Feb 2010 13:58:02 +0000 http://willmydoghateme.com/?p=3684#comment-1751 I just thought I'd elaborate on my comment about experiences being good, bad or neutral. It's important for owners to realize that just having nothing bad happen does not necessarily constitute a 'neutral' experience for a dog. Anytime a dog feels fear in the presence of a trigger, it's a 'bad' experience. All the cheese in the world may not compensate for a dog that is feeling afraid. Neutral can be hard to come by with scared dogs, which is why desensitization and counter conditioning can be so challenging. I just thought I’d elaborate on my comment about experiences being good, bad or neutral. It’s important for owners to realize that just having nothing bad happen does not necessarily constitute a ‘neutral’ experience for a dog. Anytime a dog feels fear in the presence of a trigger, it’s a ‘bad’ experience. All the cheese in the world may not compensate for a dog that is feeling afraid. Neutral can be hard to come by with scared dogs, which is why desensitization and counter conditioning can be so challenging.

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