via Zoice.com

My spam filter, Akismet, generally does a pretty good job in sorting out the trash. Occasionally, however, it gets overzealous and traps legitimate comments, some even from regulars on my blog. I’ve learned to sift through my spam bin before emptying it.

The vast majority of the disposable comments, I’ve discovered, are in Russian; consist of long lists of links, many pornographic; or are just gibberish consonants with gibberish consonant links (do vowels cost more?).

But some spammers make an attempt to seem legitimate in order to slip past the filter, down to casual punctuation and even emoticons. To wit:

Flattering Spam

  • Hey very nice blog!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your blog and take the feeds also…
  • Nice piece of facts that you’ve got in this website submit. Hope I can get some much more of this stuff on your weblog. I’ll occur back.
  • I am doing research for my college thesis, thanks for your brilliant points, now I am acting on a sudden impulse.
  • I’m pretty psyched that I stumbled across your website. Lots of quality information here, I have bookmarked it and look forward to visiting daily. Keep up the good work!
  • Now after which I’ll stumble across a article like this and I’ll recall that there really are still exciting pages …

This one even refers to specific tags:

  • Good molly Will My Dog Hate Me? , i comment your blog , be a nice blog and useful. Good for everyone. useful Dog Dressing and Doggie Dementia content. i will plan to read and review your blog.

Semi-flattering, advice-seeking spam

  • It was rather interesting for me to read the article. Thanks for it. I like such topics and everything that is connected to this matter. I definitely want to read a bit more soon. BTW, rather good design this site has, but don’t you think design should be changed every few months? I mean it  :)
  • Fellow, I am searching the internet and find some considerate communications make good as forums, blogs. Could you give me some suggestion?
  • Hello! I am reading your posts for some weeks now. I have to admit that it is very easy to read. It is already added in my favourite list and i will try to follow it when possible . Thanks for the inputs . Moreover , i really like your template and how you have structured your categories/menus . Is it possible to tell me the name of your template ? Thanks

Philosophical spam

  • I suppose it depends on how you look at it. There’s usually another way.

Semi-Scary spam

  • Valium is used in unique medical situations as well, such as during legal executions. Many physicians prescribe Valium to patients before medical procedures to help tame anxiety that is common before hand.

***

Oh, spammers! I am please that you like my quality information weblog and my considerate communications, but don’t occur back later, fellow, even on sudden impulse. I don’t want to input Valium to tame my anxiety!

17 thoughts on “Your Sunday Silly: Spam Jam”

  1. LOL! I love that you decided to share these.
    I get many of the same types of spam in my filter (along with a few legitimate comments). I have also seen ones including promotions for Nike and other types of shoes. My favorite are the broken English ones. They make me laugh sometimes in how they are worded.

    1. Glad you enjoyed it, Mel. Yes — Nike was big in my spam bin for a while. So was Abercrombie & Fitch. And I wonder if there’s a computer that generates a facsimile of English (did you ever use the Google translation program?) — or if spammers are from another country and are trying to be fluent. Hmmm, maybe that’s another post.

  2. The mangled English reminds me of Monty Python. As a special feature on one of their DVDs, they took the Japanese translation of The Search for the Holy Grail and translated it back into English.

    It’s a riot! And so was your post!

  3. 😀 I get those, and more. Some are all “???” or offer to enlarge parts of a body that I don’t have, or in what looks like Russian. The main thing is to never, never, ever click on a link in one of these things.

    Thanks for the humourous look at an annoying problem.

  4. Hmmm, your “parody” seems a little TOO spot on? Are you really g*rvzx@mumbai.org who’s been sending me the dting advice?

  5. Oh my! Too funny. I’m tempted to come up with my own jumbled version of one of these comments, merely for satire’s sake… but you’d probably trash it as spam. So, um, yes. Spam bad.

  6. Ha! I remember these….my spam filter is somehow broken and I can’t get in to read or delete it…can’t figure out if it needs a valium or if it overdosed…thanks for the guffaw;-D

  7. Oh No! I thought that college guy just like ME.

    I am doing research for my college thesis, thanks for your brilliant points, now I am acting on a sudden impulse.

    So his research is on dogs AND travel literature?

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