Lately, my book selling world has been a bit bleak. The online bootleg versions of AM I BORING MY DOG have slowed to a trickle, as opposed to the torrent of thefts that first emerged the week between Christmas and New Year’s. I dutifully forward all the Google alerts of new ripoffs to my publisher, who forwards them to the legal department, which does… something. I assume.
The notices rarely even catch my attention anymore, although I was a bit startled by the following (Frankie is a very sensitive dog, so I’ve inserted a few asterisks):
i f**k my hot sister Megaupload MediaFire Hotfile & FileSonic …
Am I Boring My Dog And 99 Other Things Every Dog Wishes You Knew. Published By BinhSilicom | 3 January 2011
I’ve got to say, anyone who is attracted by those search terms is going to be gravely disappointed by my book. There’s a little coprophilia that might draw the “I eat my hot sister’s poop” crowd, but Frankie doesn’t engage in sexual relations with anyone in the book, sibling or stranger.
But there are a few things no bootleg version of the book can offer: A personal appearance by me and Frankie. Free wine. Other dogs. The owner of a dog gym. Benefits to a shelter and to a library. So I’m excited to announce…
For those who don’t know Arizona geography, Cave Creek is a semi-sleepy little town — with a very nice library, which will benefit from any book sales –in the desert just north of Scottsdale, where Foothills Animal Rescue, which will also benefit from the book sales, is located. Scottsdale is also home to Arizona Dog Sports, a gym for dogs, and owner Layne Kizler will be on hand to discuss all the anti-boredom activities she has on offer there.
More excitement: I’ll be staying at the Scottsdale Hotel Indigo. Frankie and I loved the totally pet friendly — no size limits, no extra fee — Hotel Indigo San Diego (see this post about last summer’s visit) and we’re really looking forward to our stay at the Scottsdale branch. Naturally, I’ll report back.
My own hot sister will not be in Arizona for these activities, but someone’s hot sister might very well be.
Congrats on your book signing- that will be so fun! Enjoy your “change of scenery” time and hopefully the “hot sister” crazies will stay away 🙂
Unless YOUR hot sister decides to come down of course!
Happy Friday 🙂
Hey — long time, Shauna! Thanks for stopping by and for the good wishes.
Hope you have a great signing. My sister was really impressed that I had a real live author’s signature on the copy of your book I gave her. So go out there and thrill lots of people.
BTW, one reason the online thefts have probably slowed is because Google changed its search algorithms again to keep from crawling the sites of people who add add random (or stolen) text to their sites. Your book, sorry to say, was probably just a way to use lots of text to juice up the search engines so pornographers could get their message out to inquiring *ssholes who want to blow. Oops, I mean know.
I am having a very difficult time not asking you a question about your sister who was impressed by me as a live author. You know which question I mean.
I guess “boring” and “dog” are good search terms, huh? You’d think my book sales would be through the roof. But thanks for the analysis. And the good wishes.
Thanks for restraining yourself. I guess your parents raised you right.
Happy Signing Day Edie. Wish I was closer!
Thank you. One of these days maybe I’ll have a book tour…
LOL! I always laugh at those weird word combinations that spammers and hackers put together. SO bizarre.
Wish I could come to you book signing. It would be awesome to meet you in person. I can only say that I hope you and Frankie are a huge hit!
I agree — it would be great to meet. Maybe Blogpaws?
Thanks for your good wishes!
Those are some weird search terms paired with “Am I Boring My Dog?” Scottsdale is nice and that Arizona Dog Sports gym sounds really cool! Tell Frankie not to over do it:0 Hope you have a great time at your book signing and will look forward to your post(s)!
Maybe I’ll take Frankie to the dog gym, take pictures of him on a treadmill…or maybe not… Anyway, thanks for your good wishes!
Hey Edie. I hope you and Frankie have a blast and that you sell lots of books!
Thanks so much!